Blackness, identity and being undefinable.
I can't remember the first time I became aware of my blackness. I'm sure it happened as early as primary school though. One particular experience that I remember is how the word "ghetto" would be used to describe mannerisms like being loud, or having a heavy African accent, or certain words or phrases that are used by black people. Obviously then, this would automatically mean that black people were "ghetto". So my black friends would be described as "ghetto" while my white friends would be described as "cool" or "part black" with it being a compliment rather than a critique. Of course, there were some of us that figured this out and decided to try and bypass this critique by forcing ourselves to behave differently. To be reserved and quiet, which in my case eventually led to becoming afraid who we are and denying our true selves. To make matters worse, there are, to this day, environments that either accept or quietly deny bl