Notes on recovery and perserverance.
Today is my third day out of psychiaric hospital. For obvious purposes I cannot say where I was but I can say what got me there. I had lost parts of myself along with losing my past relationship and I underestimated how much I needed to grieve. I became depressed and suicidal, but I did not really want to die. I wanted to stop feeling everything that I was feeling. I did not know how to handle the pain of abandonment. So, I got help. Well, I was partly forced to get help by my mother. I would like to share some of the things I learned and will probably need a lifetime to master. Being kind to yourself is really difficult! I struggled with being kind to myself because of my deep rooted feeling of unworthiness. Once my psychologist and I started unpacking this we realised that I take on way too much energy that is not mine, and feel deep sense of failure and defeat when I do not rise up to other people's standards, having severely neglected my own wants and needs. I have lear